#this kind of story is so so important to get right and i dont trust netflix to get sapphic stories right - not a good track record there

[2024skin]

People will come online fuming with hate and anger about Anything and expect everybody to instantly understand and validate them instead of being concerned about.... the genuine hate and anger. You know that behavior wouldn't fly in front of IRL strangers

[gaywriting]

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo Book review

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid (2017)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

"Doesn't it bother you? That your husbands have become such a headline story, so often mentioned, that they have nearly eclipsed your work and yourself?" "No," she told me. "Because they are just husbands. I am Evelyn Hugo. And anyway, I think once people know the truth, they will be much more interested in my wife." (p. 385)

i finished this book september 11, 2023 at 2am because this is a book you can't put it down!

the story follows Monique Grant, a small magazine writer in New York, getting the proposition of her dreams! for some reason, old Hollywood star Evelyn Hugo has requested her specifically for an interview, to the confusion of her boss and Monique herself. Then, when she meets the icon, Evelyn claims she wanted Monique for a specific reason and also not for an interview, but a biography, that will be released after her death. Evelyn is sharing the story of her life, a story surrounded by lights and fame, of blitz and glamour and also of a forbidden love and found family. At the end Monique learns of a truth that shakes her very being.

this book is so beautiful, so touching, outstanding and spectacular and at this point the best book i’ve read all year, maybe even in a while.. i dont have anything negative to say, such a good experience it was to read! 💖 the life of Evelyn Hugo and how it affected Moniques life is such an amazing journey to take and i recomend it to everyone who is interested in historic books and LGBTQ+ stories. 🌈

the trip back in time to the blitz and glitz of old Hollywood, through the lens of Evelyn Hugo, a character based on all the movie actresses of the old times, told through eras of the husbands, telling the story of the truest deepest love and such a beautiful found family that will make every queer person jealous 😍

i love this book much more than what i had expected i would and its my advice not to let the hype ruin this for you, in the case that anyone reading this hasnt already read the book. Should you come across it, do yourself a huge favor and read it, it's not that long, and you'll thank me ❤️

[sereniv]

apologies are hard and can be embarassing

but life is too short to let your grandma go to bed sad

[drchucktingle]

mr. dr. chuck, i'm a few months ago i told a doc of mine that i believe i'm on the spectrum (after yeeeears of considering all the reasons why i thought so) and she agreed with me. then i came to some conclusions about members of my family. then i started melting down and haven't really recovered.

i'm in my 30's, but my life feels like it's been the mistake-addled 24th year for over a decade. people, choices, wants, they feel like things that were silly blips and not of much substance. i'm tired and my body hurts, so it feels harder to get to things i need. doctors don't seem like they can be trusted because of all the other ways i show up in the world.

i'm worried about my life and my future, and it feels like my magic is gone (or that i can't touch it right now). do you have any words of wisdom for someone who found out this really big thing about themselves kind of late?

thank you.

hello buckaroo thank you for writing. first of all i will say MOST IMPORTANT thing to remember is that it is okay and valid to FEEL the way that you feel. your reaction to this news or any news really is not wrong. that does not mean you cant wish for another reaction or WORK TOWARDS another reaction, but in grand cosmic sense this is just your way. YOUR TROT IS VALID and we all have our own unique way. sometimes that path is an easy path with sunny days and smiles and a glorious view, and sometimes it is through the darkness of shadows or crawling through the old bog. we can PREFER one path over the other, but neither is WRONG.

when giving advice old chuck tries to not PROJECT what i think YOU should do because that is not really the point. this is your trot to trot and i do not think it is my place to act like some authority of your way. what chuck can do is tell you MY story of diagnosis and how it made ME feel and maybe you can take little pieces of that for yourself.

chuck learned of way on autism spectrum when i was in early twenties by doctor who said 'yes this is your way'. when i learned of my spectrum way my reaction was: wow this is very very cool i am so lucky because all of my heroes are autistic and now i am in this RADICAL CLUB. we are special and unique and DANG what a treat wish i could have a membership card in my wallet to show all my buds.

now obviously this is not everyones reaction, but as starting off point i wonder what it would have meant to my future if the news would have HIT ME IN A BAD WAY. if i would have felt let a dang robot alien who didnt belong. maybe id be swimmin through the bog ever since.

thing is I LIKE ROBOT ALIENS they are very cool. doctor did not MAKE me different, i was different already, our talks just popped a nice little name on it for me to take or leave. i took the name proudly because DATA from stars trek (certified robot alien) is exactly how i already felt and dang what a cool character and dang what a great life. so was DAVID BYRNE. so was every cool buckaroo artist that i liked. cowboys are OUTSIDER HEROES and that is how my autism makes me feel.

so like i said, i do not know about YOUR way, but MY WAY of hearing this news was heaps of joy and excitement. i will also say that it is very DIFFICULT to find this reaction later if your first leap is feeling in a sad way about it. so maybe if you want to trot back in your mind to those first few steps it would be helpful. maybe mentally trot to where you were pushed off a dang cliff and think "well was i pushed off a cliff or was i just told 'hey bud youve been floating this whole time?"'

because if youve been floating then DANG thats a lot of power. thats not falling. you can float up, you can float down, you can float side to side.

the next thing i will say AS AND ARTIST is that years of toiling and feeling aimless are NEVER actually aimless when it comes to creation. and to LIVE in a human body is to be an artist, because you are CONSTANTLY CREATING the future. when i am writing and i dont have an idea for my next book that can be frustrating, but it is also PART of the process. if i walk to the store to rustle up my mind, or wander around the park, or spend a whole WEEK feeling weird because of writers block THAT IS ALL PART OF MAKING GREAT ART. that is not wasted time. in other words, your years of toiling are not wasted time, that is just the process we all have when we are creating a future masterpiece.

[chloreen]

✨caution! Izzy rant ahead✨ Every time I see posts villainizing Izzy I'm slightly baffled. I know i should have gotten over it by now but making Izzy the villain is kind of missing the heart of the whole story? "But Gentlebeard is the heart of the story-" It's a story about found family. About dysfunctional people. People who err and fail and make horrible decisions and overcome their traumas. I know that's not lost on the fandom when it comes to Ed, not one little bit. He's all cute and bored when we meet him, right? Not the man who sets ships alight anymore, with all the people in them? Not a madman by any means, just a tired little boo who's ready to shake off Blackbeard's mantle? And it's great that he's ready. People get there. But what I get from many posts is that it's fine for Ed to get there when he's ready but Izzy had to follow him straight away into the land of the mentally healthy or fucking die. Only Izzy is just as dysfunctional as good old Ed if not more, and he's not ready, and nobody is asking him to be ready when they board the Revenge. The only person he feels close to in the world ignores him, Stede (understandably) offers him none of the talk-it-through treatment and the crew mocks him. All within reason, but when you have severe mental issues and trust issues and defense mechanisms your first instinct is not to open yourself up. It's to lock yourself down. Bite back at those who mock you. Attack those who disdain you. Destroy your chances of happiness, because you think you dont deserve it. Wrong approach? yes, god, yes, of course it is, but "wrong approach" is basically the title of every other episode in this show.

Now ,"I fed your darkness, Blackbeard" has been quoted as a closing statement more times than I can count. Everybody can read into "I fed your darkness" as they please; I know how I read into it. I've been in love with people who's darkness I fed and they fed mine in return. And I'm not even going to point any fingers here, regardless of how disproportionally abusive that relationship was. It's a we thing, it's always a we thing. Darkness feeds on darkness. Izzy didn't create Blackbeard. Izzy didn't burn that fucking ship with all the people in it. We don't even know if Izzy met Ed before he was Blackbeard or not. It was most likely a "we" thing, where they built together upon an existing structure, a joint tower of darkness. Feeding the myth, throwing all of their insecurities in it, creating a monster. Forging a bond not with the touch of silk and gentle fingers but with whatever nightmares you can imagine. So Izzy playing doctor Frankenstein to Ed's Kraken is…it's wrong, it's simply wrong. Ed was not a corpse when they met. He was not a blank slate. He was possibly already a mess of his own when the darkness-feeding started.

That turned out to be quite the rant but it's important for me to voice it. Izzy is far from blameless. Ed is far from blameless. A lot of other people in this show are technically far from blameless. But making a person who's a member of (the ofmd) family your villain? There are some straightforward villains in this show and then there are those who want to, crave to, strive to belong but have a hard time because they're so genuinely flawed.

[orchestraytedkhaos]

Rexsoka. Yeah, it's my ship. Still.

I mainly just lurk here, reading fanfic and enjoying the memes. But the angst of the last few has given me the courage to dive in and say a few words.

First, let me clear the air: Rebels was when I started shipping Rexsoka. Prior to their reunion on that show, it had never ever occurred to me to ship them. Despite having read the novels.

So, yeah, look, I totally get the opposition to shipping early Clone Wars Rex and Ahsoka. She's a child. He's a child too, arguably, although his accelerated maturation makes everything super messy. The military structure and fact that Rex is basically a slave means its got power issues galore. Then for those in the US, there is the whole 18 year old age of consent thing (noting, for good or ill, it's 16 most other places). I get why this squicks people. It's the SanSan of Star Wars.

But people grow up. Even on TV.

Season 7 Ahsoka is 17 going on 18, and effectively an adult. She's commanded armies, and just spent a year living and working independently. She is also obviously mature and, frankly, animated that way. Rex is a long term friend, they love and care for each other, and by the end of the season, she basically risks everything for him, and he for her. The episodes are also written in a very obviously shippy way, with the gazing, the chats, the meaningful converstions, the hand holding and the tears. Not to mention that sad, moonlit reunion in Tales of the Jedi.

And although I dont think it matters much, by this time, even taking Rex at double chronological age, the gap is pretty mild by fantasy standards. 17-18 and about 26, roughly the same as Buffy and age-corrected Angel, and way less than Han and Leia.

Fast forward to Rebels, and we have two mature adults with a shared history and goals, who love, trust and admire each other, share common interests, and are amongst the most important people in each other's lives. It's a believable and natural thing for that to progress to something more. The challenges to their relationship are things like, for Ahsoka, the lingering memory of the Jedi code and Anakin and Padme's destructive passion, and Rex's rapid aging, status and limited life experiences. It is those kinds of emotional and external barriers and their shared trauma that make the romance so interesting.

Season 7 + and Rebels Rexsoka is classic friends to lovers, and one of the nicest, softest and most realistic relationships in Star Wars. The opposition to it, and moraliatic shaming of those who like is, is something I simply don't get. It's bizarre. There are heaps of ships that are far, far more problematic (including Anakin/Padme) that don't get this hate.

Like, anti dudes, what exactly *is* the problem here? I suspect the it's that some people just want to get their hate on.

The recent flashbacks? Yeah, that one on Mandalore complicates thing, but I doubt they had stomping on shippers in mind when they cast Ariana, as I have seen suggested elsewhere. The more likely scenario is that - at about 14 yo when this was filmed - Ariana was totally perfect for the first flashback, and is perfect for playing young Ahsoka going forward. Even setting aside that she is an amazing actress, she's insanely athletic and can duel weild light sabres while knee walking though a twist. She's also already tied to Disney. She wasn't quite right for the part, and, I agree, that does make watching it in light of the fanfic a bit uncomfortable. But, it's not just a shipper issue. Putting an Ahsoka that looks and sounds like that in the episodes with the Martez sisters and Bo Katan is weird af too, and doesn't work. I doubt it is meant to.

Story-wise, the best and only real take is that the flashbacks aren't live action replays. The Mandalore scene doesnt even chronologically match what happened (Ahsoka is so fighting Saxon in that scene, which never happened). They are visions about Ahsoka and Anakin and their relationship, not live action replays. Both remember her as a child caught up in a war. Smoke, the fog of war, flashing lights and dying, faceless clones.

And Anakin and Rex.

What I take from these is that in Ahsoka's mind, and Anakin's too for that matter, Rex is always there for her. Standing in the chaos, calm and confident in himself and in her, and looking badass as heck. With an older Ahsoka it would have absolutely been smoking scene from her pov, and no way was it written otherwise. As an older Ahsoka remembering, it's hot. As younger Ahsoka, he's there as her protector and friend.

Do I do ever think this ship will play out on screen? Not, no explicitly. And, yeah, it probably is harder now because of that vision (although if they ever do film a younger Ahsoka series, they will undoubtedly be casting a young actor for Rex, and Ariana will, by then, be 18). But I don't think that was intentional, and I don't think that much has changed. It was always intended to be an "open for interpretation" relationship, written with the possibility not excluded. And I am good with that. Perhaps I even prefer it. Star Wars has a truly dreadful record with romance and, besides, too often cementing subtle or ust-based ships kill them. I just hope this hasn't, because it's still my ship and I love it.

[n7punk]

i know i've kind of talked around this stuff for... fuck, three years now? but idk, now it's getting closer to "resolving," i kind of want to talk about it. journal, get it off my chest, idk

i haven't really been specific about my health issues much because 1) privacy and 2) very complicated feelings on it, but feelings are becoming less complicated, so... yeah. privacy is still really important to me, but i have too many feelings about this to keep feeling like i'm silencing myself for some hypothetical... i dont even know what

tbf, if it had turned out to be anything else, i probably wouldn't be comfortable even making a vent post about it now. but it turned out to be. annoyingly simple. i've also got other stuff, physical disabilities and such i've been more candid about but still want to keep the specifics of private, but this is... very different.

long story short, during the pandemic i started experiencing Symptoms. i'm honestly not sure if/how much i have talked about what was wrong with me, because i don't remember... entire years, much at all. i know ive described it as my brain being on fire, but it's more like it instantly melted down and i was left with the aftermath for hours/days/weeks at a time. it really fucked with me emotionally to be fighting through that on top of the direct effects of the Symptoms. and, well, the problem was my brain (probably) so that tracks.

it turns out it was migraines. migraines that shared many symptoms with seizures, brain tumors, or pressure on the brain stem, but yeah. "just" "migraines." and, actually, we don't know that! but migraine medication is helping, so it's probably that and this is where i am, finally waking up these last few months (this summer of updates could Not have happened if it weren't for my new medication) and feeling both very frustrated with what i lost and relieved to not always have to deal with suddenly being unable to understand a sentence anymore.

it's not like. fixed. my brain is still going to burn sometimes. It seems to come in waves, like two bad weeks and then two good ones. we're not done trying to treat it now we know some stuff it's responsive to, but its not like it used to be, wildfires raging all day and my head wavering on my shoulders as i struggled just to read messages from my friends. i literally had an emote i would use to communicate when i couldn't communicate that everybody who knows me understands. i haven't even twitched since starting my new meds! well, like, uncontrollably. trust me, that's progress. i literally had to get a bigger bed so i could be safe in the middle of it when the fits were especially bad and i got twitchy.

uh so that was more story than i planned. really i just wanted to finally talk about what i've been experiencing (at least for the first time that i remember). honestly writing was the only thing that kept me sane while i was trapped inside my own malfunctioning brain. i don't know why it was one of the easiest things for me, when i couldn't even understand a full two sentences being said to me i could still - usually - write (again: i literally couldn't talk for like three of the days when i was writing and updating catcher daily), but i'm so grateful for it. and everybody who told me my stories helped you, or that you looked forward to them, or even just that you enjoyed them: you helped me right back, because you told me there was one thing i could still do, from a capability standpoint to having the ability to make any impact on the world when i was trapped at home. so thank you.

okay i'm done now. just. had to get that out

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen, i just followed you and this is really random but ive seen some of your posts helping younger people and it really struck a cord and i need to just let the words fall out of me.

ive been having issues with my girlfriend she cheated on me but this situation is very complicated and we're both fucked up people but i know she still loves me and i really love her. but my anxiety and our lack of communication is really bad right now and im so worried she might not love me the same anymore

ontop of this im 18 and for the past id say 5ish years my mental health and family life has been getting worse, getting diagnosis is hard especially with mentally ill and just overall bad parents that somehow dont understand or believe. i know im deppresed and have been i have anxiety, sever paranoia maybe bpd and bipolar and autism and everything is just so much. now the one person i had is something thats making everything hurt more and i just don't know where to go, im trying to get help but its so slow in this country and i feel so lost and tired i barely eat now and when i do its ether rare or unhealthy and everything is so much i want to collapse.

i hope this isn't to much to randomly send anonymously but you just seem really kind and helpful. thank u for your reply if you do

HI and please accept my apologies for the delay on answering this. I am sorry you are going through so much. My kids are adopted from foster care and I had many kids in my home for up to 5 years who eventually went back home. That is to say I have a lot of experience with mental illness, the systems that treat them, trauma and kids who came from unstable home lives.

At the ripe old age of 18 you have plenty of time to find love and contentment but right now might not be the time. I understand there might be odd circumstances that caused your girlfriend to cheat on you. If you feel betrayed and lost trust that is a feeling that is next to impossible to overcome for people with no comorbidities let alone a teen trying to figure herself out and deal with navigating the broken mental health/care system.

It is actually quite normal for young love to change and get redefined into friendship even when the circumstance are the best. Her cheating on you might very well be a sign that your relationship is in flux and not what you thought it was. A romance that has run its course is not a failure, relationships do not have to last forever to be important and real and worth having had.

It might be scary to think of not being with her, of not having your "one" person that you can count on but I do believe you can get farther working on yourself if you put time and energy into you and not dividing it up between you and her.

There is a lot of precedent set for women to set aside their romance and intimacy in order to be just friends while one or both does some work on herself. Sometimes it is necessary to stay involved for emotional support or financial support, that is just the reality of our world. Living single can be very difficult.

Please consider letting go of the relationship in its current form and putting your energy of yourself. Letting go of the stress of trying to repair what you had with her will remove so much pressure from you and from her that you will feel much more ready to tackle your mental state.

I promise. You are not a failure, she is not "the bad guy" in this story. Take all the wonderful things you shared with her keep those with you when you want a reminder that it loving her was worth your time even if it didn't end like you planned.

Seek mental health help but starting small. A therapist can help you begin to talk through things and often she can help you find additional resources like a medical Dr, public subsidies for insurance or free clinics to assist you in getting medication and mental health support. Most counties have a social services office and those employees are a wealth of information.

[tulipanthousa]

tell us about the unwritten au 👀

okay, full disclosure, this will never be written. i have no intention of ever doing so. if someone else is willing to take a crack at it be my guest but this would be too much for me to handle

so, here it is

Content Warnings: angst, RAPE (<- read this. the dove is dead. do not pass go do not collect $200. youve been warned) both directly and via proxy, and other kinds of sexual coercion

LAOFT RELAMP but at what cost

In main story laoft, durant does not see roman and remy's dalliances as important or a threat to him/his control over roman.

in this story. he does

in an agonizing display of cruelty, he kidnaps remy and presents him to night roman as a gift.

its a terrible position - roman cant reject the gift and risk durants anger, which will end in disaster for both him and remy... but niether can he accept it and walk back into his day life with the knowledge that remy will remain here, trapped, alone with durant, and impossibly far away from anything roman can do to protect him

Roman takes the only path he can find - feign gratefulness so deep that he no longer had need of his day left, and giving it up. because at least if theyre both trapped remy's not alone.

Remy and Roman disappear the same night, stolen from their beds without a sound or a trace left behind.

In wickhills, Logan is incandescent with fury and patton cries so miserably the woods and hills around his house are bone-dead silent. not even the birds want to sing in his presence.

May sits alone in her house, the door locked, refusing to answer for anyone.

The Adams' put up posters across all of southeast ohio knowing nobody is going to call

And emile watches them all and churns with guilt because he didnt know remy, not really, so why does he think he has a right to be this sad?

Back in faerieland, things escalate in a bad way very quickly. Durant coerces Roman and Remy into increasingly intense sexual scenarios for his entertainment.

in the midst of this, having only one other person you can rely on or trust can, coupled with the rapid increase in intimacy, cross the wires a bit, and wwhoops, Remy and roman are in love now

Remy: or whatever passes for love in this shitshow Roman: you dont get to tell me i dont really love you Remy, crying: ok

and tbh, all of this is more of just context for what im ACTUALLY interested which is

they get out. now what?

Because in the meantime, Emile has reached out to patton, we still have LAMP and remile, and now we have pair-of-cats-that-cant-be-separated creativisleep

Logan: you thought canon logan had anger issues? ha. ha i say. this logan would kill a man sooner than let them make roman or remy even slightly uncomfortable. he'll snarled at his own mother if she gets too close. he'll snarl at thomas, though he'll feel bad about both. this is actually! not great! because logan tried to guard from the outside looks a lot like Guards Keeping Us Inside to remy and roman, so they have to figure out how to navigate logans nuclear reactor protectiveness vs it wigging roman and remy out.

Virgil: Virgil waking up is the catalyst for them getting free, and in the midst of his horror falls in QP love at first sight with remy, who was so brave and so strong and kept roman safe when virgil couldnt.

Remy: i dont know if 'safe' is even slihtly accurate Virgil: the safety of his heart and mind are of equal importance to me as his body. you have cherished both, and you can have anything you ask for as long as i live Remy: [gay fluster noises]

Patton keeps determinedly dragging emile to mays house (where they are holed up for close access to dizzy and jax) even though Emile feels like he's intruding

Patton, constantly on the verge of tears: I almost lost Roman and i've decided im in love with all of you and i CATEGORICALLY refuse to lose anyone else Emile: um Patton: RE. FUSE.

so pattons HOPE is that they all wind up in a big polycule pile, and its doesnt... not do that, but its not quite as clearcut as all that.

Theres stumbling blocks at the beginning withboth remy and roman wavering on whether or not their romantic feelings are genuine, and subsequently wondering if the fact that theeyre still in love with Emile and LAM respectively means that they arent.

this would go through some oscillations of both of them trying to deny those feelings to "prove" their love for each other, vs trying to push the other away so they can go be with p[eople they "really love"

do! not! separate them!

in my head this ends with romantic LAMP, Romantic Remile, Romantic Patmile, and QPR losleep and sleepxiety - everybody else is friends and cuddle buddies

Remy is actually super comforted by the fact that Patton is in love with him/attracted to him but never asks for more than friendship because he knows remy isnt. Metamour besties.

Dizzy suffers a lot from this ordeal (she hid from durant and subsequently roman, knowing if he found her as romans familiar it would be catastrophic) so their bond is.... stretched, lets say. overtaxed. she's a little sicklier. a little smaller, a little more timid. hides in remy or virgils jackets frequently

All of which is to say that this is a fraught extended metaphor that sometimes trauma changes you, and it changes your relationships, and it changes the way you feel attraction, and all of that is okay. it doesnt make those feelings or relationships less real or loving or valid.

anyway this is my monster. im not going to write it (please dont ask) but some people have expressed that they were glad i still shared it, so have some bite sized angst

[a-non-ymouswriter]

Alright, let's talk Rewind (or my MCYT fics)

i think it's time to finally talk about rewind/remix.

or generally, just my mcyt fics in general.

it's been a while since i updated any of them and trust me, i am very much FILLED WITH GUILT over not updating or continuing them- problem is; i just don't have any motivation in them at the moment. my interest and motivation for them have waned, wilted and withered. the three unfortunate ws that arent wins.

i dont want to say i abandoned them, i hate the thought of abandoning ANY STORY and i like the thought of getting back to them at some point. maybe my motivation will come back, it has in the past and that's a great hope to have.

however i am aware that these stories have been gathering dust and it's possible that motivation will never come back and i hate that.

i know partially why i'm no longer interested? partially- it mainly started with techno's death. it just didn't feel the same anymore now that cc!techno was gone, but if things went differently then maybe i could've continued just as normal. but i'm pretty sure my motivation took a great hit when techno died.

another great hit to my motivation is the whole... thing with cc!dream??? WHICH I WILL NEVER EVEN POKE ABOUT, YOU CANNOT MAKE ME, I WILL IGNORE EVERY ATTEMPT. it felt weird writing about c!dream even though i should REALLY be able to separate the two, cc!s are different from fictional c!s and all that but for some reason i just don't feel too comfy writing him right now.

and since my main series of rewind and remix is MAINLY RELATED TO DREAM- you can see my problem here.

the dream smp is done, over, there is no season 2 and my interest in this fandom is only tethered by the occasional fanfic that i stumble upon and the numerous fanarts that come and go. that interest isn't enough to motivate my writing.

a funny thought though, is that i think i spent a LOT of motivation and kind of burnt myself out in the future back when i was DAILY UPDATING REWIND- like i don't know if you readers remember but i was updating DAILY on rewind. every day, FOR ALMOST A MONTH- something that might never happen again really and i'm still kind of proud of that.

but i'm pretty sure it was very unhealthy of me to do daily updates the way i did- it took A POWER OUTAGE to make me stop doing daily updates and i remember STRESSING OVER NOT UPDATING while the power was out. so yeah, i'm pretty sure i set myself up for failure there XD

but i'm so glad that i was able to at least finish rewind. my very first story that i completed. unfortunately i'm not too confident about finishing the rest of the series (and some other fics).

a friend of mine actually suggested something that i've been thinking about from time to time; i give you guys the outline of what COULD have happened. what i was planning on writing and then completing my works.

it sounds like a good idea but i didn't want to let you guys down in just, giving up like that. but nowadays, it sounds like a better and better alternative than to just wait for my motivation and interest to come back. it's almost been a year already for wishes and family, and remix, i managed to update stream labs a few months ago so that's hopeful but the others...

okay, i'm going to give YOU GUYS the choice here. i'll tell the ao3 readers about it as an important update author's note, but im going to make a poll about this choice soon and i'll even pin it on my tumblr.

it'll last- maybe two weeks? but yeah, it's the least i can do to see what you guys want.

EDIT: polls apparently only last a week, so it'll be up a week.

[oathofkaslana]

lee oathofkaslana, i was wondering if you have any advice for getting into hi3, especially in regards to digging into the lore. i’ve been following along with your hi3 posts for literal months and i get more intrigued each time you discuss it so i finally decided to just go for it. i know theres the game/webtoon/animated shorts/cooking with valks but i’m not totally sure about how to go about approaching all of it and the more obscure elements (like the other games with the hi3 characters) because i don’t want to miss out on anything. is there a certain order of approach that you suggest? also, are there any resources that may help with taking it all in, like explaining the basics and the timeline or something like that? there’s no pressure to answer right away, i’m sure you might want time to compile your thoughts, i just trust your judgement on how to get into hi3 over trying to figure it out myself based on how knowledgeable you appear to be about everything.

cracks knuckles. anon im being so serious this made my day both bc of your kind words and bc its the perfect opportunity for me to infodump about hi3 resources (<- especially unfortunate part of my current interest on hi3 is that im a lil too deep into things about the game that dont really matter?? thats beside the point)

lee oathofkaslana's hi3 starter guide :) ps: important. please please read my warning in the comics section of other content.

reading lists! ok this is the most important thing so its going first. hi3's comics are a lot more important to the plot than like. genshin's. and its kinda annoying bc in some cases you'll be guided from going between chapters of the game to a comic and vice versa. i highly recommend checking out both of these reading lists: hoyostans reading guide (start from part 1 phase 1) archives wiki hi3 reading list the seconds a lot easier to follow imo! especially with the earlier ones. i personally prefer primarily using the second one and then consulting the first to see if there's any extra content that's missing (since some ggz/retconned hi3 comics are linked there and provide some context! the first one also has some very helpful notes from the OP!) i DO think that reading the comics in the order listed on the archives wiki and then starting chapter one is best. it might feel like a dip in story telling though but i promise it will get a lot btter once theyre a lot more stable w their game development and writing :)

other content: comics: ok first i have to put a warning. escape from nagazora is from ggz iirc and like. early ggz and early hi3 humor kinda sucks ass. there's awful sexualization of underaged girls and its weird about women and this is where a lot of the fetishization comes in. they're also not normal about consent here. also another warning about azure waters. it heavily references CSA and has an almost rape scene and i completely hated the way it was all visually portrayed. if needed I will gladly summarize these comics for you without any of those details. this aside, the comics are included in the reading guides! there are also non-canonical ones though! (4komas featured on the manga site and 4komas from the jp twitter! theres a google drive linked in the other post w fan translations. they're comedic and not at all canonical but they may spoil things since its run coincides with the game's progress so i dont really recommend reading them until you're farther along. atm i am just starting part 1.5 and ive read most of it, but i am intentionally avoiding newer ones just by looking at what design is in the thumbnail. they're very quick to read though dw!) animated shorts -> they are included in the game :) if you would prefer watching them in chinese, i'm afraid you'll have to look at it on youtube though :' for some reason on the western servers all the CG's in the first part are in japanese even if you switch your language to chinese. chronicles -> they're included in both the reading guides! theres some that aren't very lore relevant (dreams of gemima and kallen chronicles) but they're a fine source of weapons and crystals (hi3 equiv of primos) part 2 -> i haven't started it yet but from what i've seen, it's recommended that you finish part 1 before this. open-world -> again, follow the reading order for these :) the only exception is APHO because that takes place in the future (after part 1.5). i haven't finished it and i personally don’t plan to until after i do 1.5 in case there's any important spoilers! there are major hints that kinda spoil the end of part 1 though. <- same with the alien space comic. it takes place. sometime after APHO i think. other universe events -> primarily captainverse. obv these take place in a different universe! these characters are not the same as the main characters. iirc the only one that's really lore-relevant is honkai salvation log (it comes later in the game and later in the hoyostans reading guide!!) donghua: cooking with valks: not canonical content. season 1 is pretty safe but it is best watched after chapter 12 to get full context for some references! honestly you could probably get by with watching the rest of the series after imo but if you'd prefer to play it safe, the hoyostans guide includes it :) golden courtyard: do not watch this one until you finish chapter 31. journey crisis: do not watch this until you finish part 1.5 ggz/hg2: honestly. you don't need to know ggz for hi3. you would benefit from knowing the retrospective timeline's history for the main trio but from there on, ggz and hi3 follow completely different stories with different characters. honestly you could go by without knowing the main trio's history in retro i think its already explained enough in the main story and other media.

links. youtube: homulabs -> has cohesive lore videos that help a lot (esp later on)! also has some hsr stuff if you're interested :) hide's honkai archives -> playthroughs of all of part 1 completely in chinese (including cut scenes). also fixes up some of the translations since i believe the eng translations are translated from the jp dub! i mostly use this to both rewatch chapters when i need background noise and look at cutscenes with OP's translations. i find it interesting.. official hi3 youtube visual novels: again, look at the reading guides. im pretty sure think some of those links on both guides are wonky though so ill provide them here. ae visual novel (eng) shattered swords/7 swords visual novel (eng) durandal visual novel (eng) i also have a larger post with various links here build/combat: ok this is my weakspot. marisa honkai -> kind of unfortunate backbone of the hi3 community. allegedly kicked someone from his discord server for saying kiana is a lesbian. but his infographics are useful! he also has a youtube but i can't vet how his videos are o7 <- lore player and very obvious about it elysian realm shallow sequence -> in case you're ever struggling w this part. dont worry about it early game though you'll get to it in time. honestly its optional though so.

quick tips/loose info:

the wikis will be your best friend.

do the character trials!! they teach you how to use any of the characters and you can open them whenever you want! if the battlesuit is new, you will also get rewards if you do the trial in time :)

honkai has an absurd amount of currencies for some fucking reason. this is more of a warning than a tip.

ok imo hi3 combat is super super fun but my god the powercreep sucks asssssssss. i hate the process of building characters because you have to pull for characters signature gear and that equipment banner's pity doesnt carry over it fucking sucks.

BUT don't worry too much honestly if you are just playing for the story like i am it doesn't matter too much since you don't need to use your own valkyries for much (story wise). do at least build some though even to a minor degree (you will need them for chronicles)

speaking of gacha though! there's no 50/50 to worry about in honkai!

don't go into the chat for room 1 its fucking scary and full of weirdos (derogatory) and assholes. first and last time i went there i saw homophobes.

remember this is all for fun :) sorry if this seems long or wayyyy too serious i meant it when i say im awfully fixated on this fuckass game! i hope you enjoy it if you continue to play it :DD <3

[cookiecomics]

(warning from future me: this is very long, soz)

heyy!! i'm about to start another reread of atott but although im trying to get better at this, im bad at leaving comments (i get too invested in the action & dont mark down my thoughts... so when i get to the comment part i don't remember all or anything i wanted to talk abt + i'm ruminating on what just happened. that's true for the updates i've been following and doubly so for binge-reading sessions) so i just wanted to say some things directly to you, right now, before i forget - i adore the colosseum to this day. i was invested from moment one and the way you described everything was so impactful. to this day i also remember the way ren was panicked & aiming to return home despite his concussion, it felt very visceral and real. also the entirety heresy ring, akechi finding out he was in the fraud ring (this cracked me up iirc. that boy read you akechi), the toy grandma wanted to give ren & akechi managed to get to him (and ren/arsene crying bc of it....), the river, the hanged man game.... gods, you captivated me so much even within those first chapters.

another moment that is very present in my memory is the whole section where ren is in shido's palace, hiding from akechi w/o knowing it's him, finding out he was the "birdman" and then the aftermath, akechi's high fever, the way ren did his best to take care of him, how he told him he'd do the hit on the principal for him. it was all so good!! like i found ur fics from the accomplice tag iirc so i wasn't surprised when it happened, but it was all so exciting still! my memory sucks so i can't even paraphrase what ren told akechi before leaving to do it, but i do remember how akechi was still convinced (and kinda hoped) ren wouldn't actually get involved & he'd just end up dead. then ren came back, with new glasses to boot! lol

ohh also that moment where ren crossdressed and akechi was definitely attracted but ofc he can't Say It so he just critiques his makeup capabilities instead....... i was like. of course. of couse you would.

and i found atott shortly after finding out i'm arospec despite being very interested in making fictional characters kiss & romantic scenes in general, so it was very interesting to read akechi believe he was aromantic & have to deal with Actually Having Romantic Feelings Fuck This lmaoooo tho tbf i'd actually react similarly if i found out i was demisexual instead of completely ace like i think i am, so i also identified with it in that sense, since i've know about that part of my identity much longer than being arospec lol

ah. this is very long but i have more i want to say... so im gonna keep talking lol. ren realizing he was cluster-b helped me realize & come to terms with my low empathy. i remember when first reading akechi suggest ren get himself checked for sociopathy i was a bit skeptical bc i worried it'd be just edgy stuff, but i'd been trusting your writing & decisions so i decided to be optimistic & i rlly liked how you handled it, and, again, it helped me come to terms with the parts of me that also wouldn't be seen favourably by some of these ppl who insist they're mental health advocates lol

also, i rlly like akesumi so when sumi realized he was munin i was giddy. her own smile about it made me happy too.... oh this makes me remember the scene of futaba finding out ren is her online friend too gods such good scenes!!!! and finding the palace keywords. which made me remember the bad ending chapter in maruki's reality which i only managed to read on my 3rd read of the fic & then was immediately invested into too.....

anyway, what i want to say is, thank you so much for writing atott. it is almost constantly running through the like, background of my thoughts, and the story has been very important & dear to me. i hope you know it is genuinely engraved within me at this point. i love it so much. ♡

GOSH what a beautiful thing to come back to ;3; thank you so so much for your kind words and for trusting me as well dsfkjhsdfjk as someone who is cluster b AND on the a-spec merrygoround, I'm glad my handling of the topics have been great for you ;3; thank you for telling me all that you love about the fic ;3; hoping to get an update soon for Goro's birthday <3

Again, any and all love for Ren's palace makes me giddy since it is by far the aspect of the fic that took the longest to plan ;3; and there's no such thing as "too long" comments or asks for me by the way please know this is very sweet to read, i hope you have a great day! and look forward to people having a hashtagbadtime next chapter sdkjfhjkf

[the-sun-is-also-a-star]

"For someone who loved words as much as I did, it was amazing how often they failed me."

-- If We Were Villains by M. L. Rio

“Because freedom, I am told, is nothing but the distance between the hunter and its prey.”

-- On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

and as for poetry, i like to talk about "Written in my Dreams by W. C. Williams" by Allen Ginsberg with other people because it's short and rolls over the tongue nicely and i like to come back to it, puts a smile on my face, you know?

i'll also never forget "A Carcass" by Charles Baudelaire from when we read it at school years ago and then again in high school and i have now chosen Les Fleurs du mal as one of the books for my oral school leaving exam, so it's definitely one of those authors i read once and was never able to get out of my head

and last but not least, Louise Glück (may she rest in peace) and her "Theory of Memory" which includes the ending "Right now you are a child holding hands with a fortune-teller. All the rest is hypothesis and dream." and i simply don't have a choice but to love this one

i have so many more favourites, but these are the ones i can think of right now hehe <33

what r ur favourite poems and quotes??

those are brilliant actually

mine are quite, different to what one may think but i like finding meaning in things that other people think are only surface level :

思い出なんか いらん - we don't need memories

this is from the anime haikyuu LMAO which is a fucking volleyball anime and it is the team motto of one of the teams. It is quite honestly my life motto at this point. I used to live in the past, excused people for thing they do now because they were different in the past. they were different in my memories. I was so focused on the past i forgot to enjoy my present. I am done doing that. My memories hold me back. I am tired of it.

"to love and lose and still be kind" - warsan shire

this is pretty self explanatory. i dont think I've had a hard life. but i certainly haven't had an easy one. i have a habit of giving too much of myself to people. I'm working on rectifying that whilst still being kind.

"but i cut people out like tags on my clothing" - conan gray

I LOVE people watching its one of my favourite songs. but this line is really important to me. I've cut the tags off of my clothing for as long as I can remember. ever since i was a kid. I also have a habit of cutting out people the second they break my trust. as easy as cutting off tags from my clothing. I don't think its a good habit or a bad habit. it just. is.

"It's always the ones who are quietest who often have the greatest things to say" - TJ Klune, Wolfsong

This is from one of my favourite books of all time. I was a quiet child for a while. I never got excited for anything and after a while my parents suspected I had childhood depression, we still don't know for sure if I did. It makes a lot of sense though. It took me a while to become confident in my own voice and my own opinions. this quote is really important to me.

"Men don't cry. My daddy taught me that. Men don't cry because they don't have time to cry.

I must not have been a man yet because I cried. I bowed my head and cried." - TJ Klune, Wolfsong

This isn't personal to me in anyway, I just really, really love this part of the book and these two lines in particular.

"I'll be your hands." "I'll be your sanity." - TJ Klune, Ravensong

love has always been something I've read about. but this quote takes the damn cake.

as for poems,

At a Funeral by Dennis Brutus

I analyzed this poem for an English Lit class and the story behind why it was written really stuck with me. It was written after the death of Valencia Majombozi who was shot on the day of her graduation from nursing school. Its a protest poem and it just hits really fucking hard.

Death of a Naturalist by Seamus Heaney

This was the first poem that i ever took inspiration from. I had of course written before, but I really enjoyed Heaney's writing style so it strongly influenced my poem Quietude, which I am planning to submit to the empty inkwell publication...hopefully lol

Identity Card by Mahmoud Darwish

This poem is written as a form of protest poetry as well. Mahmoud Darwish was a Palestinian poet, for those of you who do not know and he wrote this poem about being asked for his identity card by Israeli Officers. Its really, really good.

[rey-diem]

Ladies, gentlemen, everyone in between and out. I’d like to introduce to you two beloved PJO God ocs which SHOULDVE BEEN IN THE BOOKS BC THEYRE IMPORTANT GRECO-ROMAN MYTHOLOGICAL PEOPLE

So, what people dont know about Romulus is that he has a wife, and a badass one at that (she saved a kingdom by throwing herself in between— but thats a story for another post)

And like a lot of other male demigods who became gods, Romulus didn’t have a choice in whether he could die and go to the underworld. A storm brewed and Mars picked him up, set him on fire to burn his mortal side away, and brought him to Olympus.

Rome was in shambles after that, and Hersilia: his queen was not in the best of moods. She coronated her son to be king, and was guided by Iris to go to a temple, she hadnt seen this temple before. She walks in and sees a statue of her husband, and there was a glass of ambrosia on the stone, she picked it and drank it, successfully being his goddess queen.

(Ovid’s Metamorphosis)

Now they took different names: Romulus - Quirinus

Hersilia - Hora Quirini

And Quirinus was a part of the Archaic Triad, which was Jupiter + Mars + Quirinus. In which they governed the best of Rome. Later Quirinus got replaced with Juno/Mercury/Minerva.

And honestly, if they ever bring back Rome— or Camp Jupiter, there should definitely be an emphasis on that, bc yes he did become a god.

Anyway to my OC part:

Quirinus, Patron god of Rome, God of Rome, also known as “The Protector”. Sub-War deity and also god of flowers.

Unlike other gods, he chose his godly abode to remain in Italy. He dresses like a man from the 1980s, and is more business like. Of course now he’s technically the god of… Italia. He still lives because Romulus is still an important figure.

He’s sophisticated and doesn’t like to get involved with many things, as he trusts Rome is best on its own, and he’s right. Though during Tyrant’s Tomb, he was having a panic attack every two seconds. I will make a blog for him because yes.

Hora Quirini, mainly known as Hora. The patron goddess of Rome, a minor deity of time, the goddess of balance and of course, the queen to Quirinus. She dresses in black or white dresses, to often match his silly little style. She’s very very kind, and loves spending time with their family. Though, due to her become a goddess after she could give birth— she could never reproduce as a goddess, thats why she treats the children of Rome as hers. She also doesn’t mingle with Rome much, but she likes to do good things, and let the Romans believe their godly parent did it. I love her, she’s my pookie. Oh and she’s technically also a sub-goddess of war too.

(if anyone wanna rp her, pls tell me)

[romana-after-dark]

hear me out hear me out hear me out, could dolly NOT stay pregnant and somehow have a miscarriage/abortion??? If the pregnancy was terminated, dolly would actually be able to see if Logan will keep his word in never hurting her again while being who she needs/wants him to be; or if he really is just like all the other people in her life that lied to her, abused her, and manipulated her. ALSO, dolly didn't have any bodily autonomy until she got away from her abusers, which Logan was aware of. So, the fact that Logan knowingly took that recently gained human right away from her makes it all the more impactful on their relationship, and definitely would've broken every single ounce of trust she had in him. It's obvious dolly doesn't trust Logan and is already exhibiting the behavior of a victim in an abusive relationship. So, if an abortion/miscarriage were to happen, Logan would have the opportunity to gain back dolly's trust and possibly repair some of the damage he's done.

If dolly carries out the pregnancy, and there's somehow a 'happy' ending for her and Logan, she may still have those same fear/trauma responses to Logan's touch, voice, presence, etc.; which would in turn have a massive impact on her mental health over time leading to possible addictions, self-mutilation, suicide, etc... I think going through w the pregnancy would re-traumatize dolly and probably cause her to have a mental health crisis; not to mention the fact that 1 in 8 women develop postpartum depression/anxiety/distress, which would definitely impact her already fragile state of mind.

but hey! That's just my opinion, take it w a grain of salt. Love ur work regardless:3

thank you!

can i just say how much i LOVE getting these sort of asks!!!! I love how much thought yall put into these things.

I wana start by saying, in general, I don't write miscarriages with a few exceptions.

In Seattle, a Moon Knight story over on my main, Rebecca had a miscarriage but it was super early, and the day she found out she was pregnant. I just dont have the stomach for miscarriage or child death. It has to be very very specific circumstances for miscarriage.

For some reason, this rubbed an old mutual of mine wrong, who somehow took issue with the fact I'll write rape and all the horrible things i wrote in the wrong way, but then in that story i assured people the baby was okay??? anyway, you of course probably had no idea of any of this nor did you know i generally dont write that, so absolutly nothing wrong!

as for abortion... I dont know, honestly? Well, for this series, no. I have a specific plan for a lot of it. I do, at some point, want to write on my main a reader whose had an abortion or she decides to get one. I think It's important to make people whove had abortions feel seen. But this unfortunetly isn't the story for me to explore that.

However, this IS a very pro-choice page, and no matter dolly's reservations on the topic, her voice is not mine. I said before, I was raped as a teen and if I had gotten pregnant, i dont know if i would have gotten one, even though my views were pro choice by then.

I loved your insights!!!!

I think it would be interesting to see what Logan would actually do. would he be mad? would he try to get her pregnant again?

I think, and my friend Katie would agree, that Logans actions in this story is a certain kind of fucked up.

In TWW, Joel rapes LO but all shes ever known was a life of abuse, and she knew what was going to happen when she was sold. In ROF, madonna goes through all this shit and its so sudden for her, breaking her idealic world

But in this series, Dolly goes through some absolutely horrifc things, and trough her own sheer tenacity she escapes (more on that later!) and for a while, she thinks she's safe. She meets Charles who takes her in, gets her a knew identity and sets her up at a job she LOVES. Dolly adores teaching those teens. She has Remy, whose her bestest friend, and lots of good people around her. And then she had Logan, who shes falling in love with and thinks she doesnt deserve. Even still, the world is lighter with him around.

And then logan rips the first hope shes had since childhood away from her, traumatizes her over again and destroys this pretty life she was building

and im not saying logan is better or worse than Joel or Santi... but i just think thats a special kind of fucked up. Taking the autonomy she had just gained, you are absolutly correct, and intentionally trying to gt her pregnant is insane.

[yo9urt]

finished y4kuza kiw@mi 2 last night!!!!! VERY LONG (and spoilers) thoughts below

to make this easier on myself: my 0 post, my kiw@mi 1 post

FINAL STATS

42h11m (not counting maj!ma saga which was like 1-2 hours cause i didnt do any of the side stuff except 1 karaoke session and 1 street boss)

202/303 completion items completed; 70/76 substories, and full completion on cabaret club + clan creator

stats the game gave me that are less interesting to me but i will write them anyway for posterity: 1362 enemies down; $74,160,130 earned (technically yen not usd lol); 29/56 battle skills, 18/33 heat actions, 25/34 life skills, final k!ryu stats 300 health 332 defense 346 attack 312 heat gauge

general impressions:

now that i've played 3 games i can start and maintain a ranking as i go! right now i would say: 0 > k2 > k1. i liked k1 but it was short on side content (at least, side content that i like, because i dont care about mahjong shogi gambling baseball darts etc. im kind of particular i guess lol) and it also had a very dark atmosphere to it...i blame it on the fact that so many people died in that game, by the end it really felt like almost everyone i'd grown to like/love had disappeared and it felt very lonely. h4ruka and maj!ma everywhere were like, the only things keeping me going lol, not to say it was a bad game it was just a lot and i'm a sensitive guy. similarly, 0 had more side content that i liked (I MISS THE DISCO MINIGAME SOOOO BAD!!), plus more side content in general (lots of really good substories), and i also think the writing on the main story was much tighter and better on 0 than on either of these games (not to say these games have bad stories but i did get confused more often with the kiw@mis and i think 0 was just stronger in general on that front). but i liked all 3 :)

i LOOOOOOOVE the dragon engine. it felt really weird at first but after i got used to it i started to really like it...it's nice to go straight into buildings with no load, and of course i enjoyed the, um, combat physics...made me laugh a lot especially the more egregious cases on youtube :P the graphics in particular were a treat, everyone looked extremely beautiful and the city itself was beautiful too, especially at night with the way the lights glow...really amazing...too bad i won't see any of that again until y6 lol

specific impressions:

story was kind of confusing as previously noted. HOWEVER, i really enjoyed how it started with that one cutscene, and then we got to watch that cutscene over and over again at intervals throughout the story, and each time we saw it it had new scenes and info added to it, that was a nice technique. also liked seeing little baby 12 year old (?) k!ryu, got emotional about that

it was cool to see ryuji!!!!!!!! it was kind of funny at first because during his substory cameo in 0 i was like "hmm, he seems important, bet i'll see him again..." and then in this game i was like "omg it's that oversized middle schooler who pantsed people all the time!" i think his hair situation is really weird but as a character i actually liked him a lot. definitely a villain and an aggressive one at that but not really cartoonish at all, hard to trust but fun to watch and try to decipher. the scene at the end with him and sayama where she was like "you're my only family..!!!" and he was like "you look like (our) mom...first time i saw you i thought of her..." URRRGHHH that was really beautiful to me...didn't cry but got very huffy

it was also cool to see daigo!!!!! i had a similar feeling where i was like "oh my god that little kid who used to wear suspenders...all grown up!!" it was like how i imagine babysitters feel when they meet the kids they used to babysit when those kids are adults. honestly he was kinda cute and i liked how he sorta grew up over the course of the game...i know hes becoming 6th chairman so im excited to see more of him!!

honestly i'm not going to comment on sayama or her relationship with kiryu because i'm still not sure what my feelings are on all that let alone am i able to explain those feelings...

kiryu himself is actually growing on me for sure...not just because he was very beautiful on the dragon engine but also i definitely do see more complexity and maturity in his character...it's hard to explain but i find myself liking him more with each game lol

majima is majima...i love him as much as i did before or maybe even more because he was REALLY funny in this game, i like how he kind of has a dual role as a serious side character who sometimes does important things but is also extremely silly and makes me laugh all the time he's so :) especially the bomb defusal scene omg i wsa belly laughing so loud during that whole thing

the majima saga was .... URRRPPP!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly i'm surprised i didn't cry...at first i was just having fun and rejoicing in being able to run around with him again especially on the new engine (i actually turned my graphics settings up JUST for this part of the game so i could see him and his adventures better) but then he had to go to soten and got all sad about it and so i got all sad, and then the scene with makoto...UUUGGGGHHHHHH i got so emotional i don't even want to talk about it!!!!!!!! but it was a nice little side story and i liked getting to know what he was up to in between k1 and k2 for sure...and i liked getting closure on him and makoto and the 2 of them getting closure on each other too. urk if i keep thinking about it i'm gonna get emo again let's move on

side content in this game was PHENOMENAL. not just majisaga but also clan creator & cabaret club knocked my socks off. clan creator was a lot of fun, overwhelming at first but i picked it up quickly and ended up enjoying building my team and tackling the different missions, and i especially loved the intermission chats with the real estate land shark guys, i was laughing way too hard during those :) and of course i'm just always happy to hang out with majima...

cabaret club was everything i wanted and more. i had been lightly spoiled for it on youtube but i didn't know exactly which game it would be in so i JUMPED FOR JOY when i saw it was this game - in my 0 post i talked about how CC was like my favorite side thing in the entire game and a huge part of what i liked about it, so obviously i was mega excited to see yuki again (she's so cute in this game!!), and i actually really like how they handled the story and flow here. in 0 you can do the middle 3 divisions in any order you want which ends up leading to cutscenes where girls are mysteriously missing when you'd expect them to be there (since the game can't guarantee or verify on its own whether or not they're there), but in this game it's very specifically "do this, then this, then this, then this" so the girls DO get to be in the cutscenes and it feels like a pretty natural progression. i loved getting to hear As You Like again, loved getting to know all the different girls (my favorites are shoko and koyuki), and i didn't even care that the story was almost a direct rehash of 0's - if anything i think it's better that way, cabaret club doesn't need its own grand plot it just needs a decent plot to stand on and a lot of really fun scenes to watch and shit to do.

i CACKLED when etsuko showed up, and when she said "20 years ago i was saved by a handsome one-eyed gentleman just like you're doing now!" and kiryu thought "one-eyed...could she mean? no, definitely not..." and then i cackled again when her bio in the game said that she "defies aging"

and of course, my favorite of all was when majima appeared and exposed the bad guys and yuki went "MAJIMA??!!?" and he was like "heyy you look different lol" and she was like "YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS AND TROUBLED" and then they got to have a bit of closure as well which was very cute, and kiryu was like "what the hell???" and they were like "majima used to do this" and kiryu was like "that lord of the night stuff you were telling me about...WAS REAL?!??!" omg i could not handle that entire cutscene

loved majima becoming the host and wearing buono's stupid outfit, loved him doing commentary during gameplay, LOVED the "get yuki a gift" substory where he and kiryu decided to get a giant gold statue of kiryu and their dialogue label changed to say "Two Fools" when they thought of it, i loved the humor of the entire cabaret thing in this game it was just wonderful. speaking of, i also LOVED that there was a repeat yuki-boyfriend-stakeout substory, laughed my way through the entirety of that one too :)

the only other minigame type of thing i really engaged with deeply was karaoke and that was actually pretty good in this game! i only did the tonight song once for completion's sake because the nishiki background thing makes me really sad and i don't play video games to feel sad...but i liked singing with majima (!!!!! i wish we could do that in every game!!!!! even though that cg also made me sad lol), and with haruka (<3), and with all the hostess girls (like a butterfly made me laugh so hard AND i somehow got a 99.8 on it on my first try i promise im not bullshitting right now), and i also liked pride from despair (had to play it several times because i refused to do tonight). i got good scores on that one too but i don't know if i can ever get 100 on it because every time the cg starts and majima appears i get too excited and start fucking up my inputs :/

i didn't do full substory completion this time because 2 of them involved minigames i didn't feel like playing (baseball and golf) and the other 4 were amon fights which 1. require you to do the other substories first & 2. are just not that interesting to me...im not really a combat guy you know im just not that into it so im like, whatever

anyway, overall, really good game, liked it a lot :) lots of emotion, lots of humor, and of course, really nice graphics and QOL improvements...i've heard y3 is a bit jank so i suppose i'll have to prepare for that but that's no big deal. liking the series a lot as a whole :)